i dreamt of my lola yesterday
i woke up
so emotional
she is turning 96 in May
i dread the day she has no more birthdays
last time i dreamt of her when I was in Spain July 2006
I cried my eyes out in my sleep
I woke up on a drenched pillow
I feel like I need to start making choices that will determine
how things will go for me in the future
I have no idea what I wanna do with this whole nursing thing
become a crna make tons of money but be bored
become a arnp make ok money but still have the same responsibility as a crna
become a teacher and make shit
do what i do now and have back pain forever
i can't go back to school till i have direction
right now i feel lost
i fckin hate that feelin
cause my actions i feel are pointless
i know i wanna move and travel
but
yes now there is a but
but there are some new things holding me back
and they have become of importance that its
giving me second thoughts
almost thirty years old
i am close to ready to settling down
i dont know
i dont know
use to be take it day by day
now its like
hour by hour
my shoulders and back hurt
just thinking about it
other than that there's nothing really wrong its just me
being me